18weeks and 2days = ) everyday is a blessing.

t-minus 3 days until we are in our new home. i swear it can't come fast enough! ya know, u never see the amount of CRAP u accumulate until u move. it's outrageous.

brian and i talked. i mainly expressed my sadness about how difficult i've made things. he truely is an awesome person. and words can't describe how lucky i am 2 have him by my side. i'm feeling confident that things are going 2 work out.

warning: possible LONG post. but NEED advice.


i'm not gonna lie. this has been my hardest year yet with life. i'm not going to say it's been a bad year b/c it wasn't. just hard. and i feel like it's going to either spin out-of-control or i'm going to get my shit 2gether.

brian and i have been 2gether for 1 year and almost 8 months. and the first 5 of those months where spent apart b/c of my basic training. which were great months. he wrote me everyday (almost), sent me care-packages, and even came to my graduation that was 10 hours away. i got home and things got a little rocky at the beginning, but we found our way. a few months being home - we move in 2gether. and it gets rocky again but doesn't smoothe out like b4. the past 6 months end up getting worse. idk where we fell off the wagon ya know?

i know i am by no means an easy person. if anything i am as difficult as someone can get. and i hate it. i know it's apart of who i am but i want 2 change it so bad. yet it seems impossible..

for instance. he'll do something so small that will bother me and it will instantly piss me off. alot of people have told me i just need 2 "pick and choose my battles" but it's like i can't control it. i get really angry (but in my mind i know i shouldn't). and i start a fight. and it blows in2 a bigger fight b/c i bring up everything else i've been bothered with whether it happend 7 days ago or 7 months ago. this is almost every fight..

it's like i don't know how 2 control my emotions or how 2 "pick and choose my battles". i want us 2 be happy again and i know it's possible but idk where 2 start ya know? i feel like every fight is closer 2 the end and it breaks my heart 2 even think that. i know he's the love of my life; the person i want to marry. but the harder i try the worse it gets = (

idk how 2 NOT sweat the small stuff. idk how 2 let go of things that really shouldn't affect my life. i know some of this comes with age. a lot of people have told me that. but i know there's something i can do now 2 help.

i'm tired of thinking the absolute worst of every situation. i want the old me back again, the happy go-lucky person i was b4 i left for the military. i just don't know where to find myself or how 2 even begin 2 look..

honesty.

my post is for danielle = ) thanks love.


she awarded me this..


List at least 10 honest things about yourself..


okie dokie. here goes nothin'..


1. my biggest fear in life is death. i can make myself cry just thinking about it.

2. my ultimate, all-time favorite color is pink. always will be!

3. i have 2 older brothers and they are the goofiest people i know.

4. i am OCD when it comes to showering. i have to do it the same way every time.

5. i am in the army national guard. be all u can be right?

6. my favorite animal is a giraffe. i used to have a collection in high school.

7. spit grosses me out, especially lougies. more than blood, vomit, or poop.

8. i would be lost w/out the amazing people in my life. God truely has blessed me.

9. if u make me repeat myself i am more-than-likely instantly mad.

10. i have 8 tattoos. and don't regret any of them.


2day was a good day = )

i went to an interview at toys r us/babies r us. i am in desperate need of a 2nd job. so please, keep ur fingers crossed! i also took tootie for a walk. i've been trying to not eat fried food or crappy food for that matter. i've done pretty well the past 2 days and i can already tell a difference. hopefully we can keep this up..

brian is at his orientation for kohl's. i really hope this works out for him, considering he quit is other part-time job for it. money is the devil, i swear. but i'm making a promise 2 myself and my new family. i will NOT argue about money. it's absolutely rediculous and it only makes things more stressful..

took tootie for a walk.

so here i am. sitting at home on now what is my "day off". i was technically supposed 2 work 2day but brian needed 2 switch days due to a new part-time job orientation. so, he's working instead..

i feel like i called off work. or i did something i shouldn't have.

whatever..

so 2day marks 17weeks 4 the baby and me! i really look 4ward 2 everyday with her =)

i'm proud of myself. i took tootie for a walk and got brian to go with me = ) we have discussed walking her more to get her out and to get our lazy selves exercising a little. i've always envied the self motivated, health freak-workout-aholics.

well, idk what to do with myself 2day. maybe pack/organize some things? we are in the process of moving so our apartment is in ruins. i can't wait for this move to be over with! i truely despise moving. only b/c i've done it about 7 times in my 22 years.

definitely new at this.

so i've decided to start a blog about my life, my pregnancy, and everything in-between.

i got the idea from my friend, danielle. thanks love = ) oh and visit her blog (chaycesmomma.blogspot.com).

so i guess i can start this off by saying i'm 22 years old, i live in columbus ohio w/my boyfriend brian and our dog tootie, oh and i'm 16weeks and 6days pregnant.

monday we found out we are having a girl and i couldn't be more excited! but let's also just say, both brian and i were extremely surprised considering we were convinced it was a boy. i even thought i was seeing a little wee-wee on the ultrasound haha! reguardless of the sex, i just want a happy, healthy baby = )


there she is...


this pregnancy was not planned but we are enjoying it the same as if it was. i never thought in a million years i'd be a mommy at 22 but then again there's a lot of things i never thought i'd do or be.